Public condemn Iain Duncan Smith as ‘not fit for purpose’
Members of the public have attacked the way politicians such as Iain Duncan Smith are funded, saying it has led to a ‘sorry story of dependency, and has wasted taxpayer’s money and encouraged fraud’....
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Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists
Following an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to...
View ArticleUniversal Credit to be exported to Mars
Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly ‘universal’ by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and...
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Iain Duncan Smith to simplify all his cock-ups into one Universal Cock-Up
‘The current system of cock-ups is complicated and confusing,’ said the Work and Pensions Secretary. ‘Even I have trouble keeping track of them all. That’s why I have decided to create a new system to...
View ArticleUniversal Credit anomaly ‘allows nation to live a Dickensian Christmas’, says...
Anger is mounting as the DWP has defended reports, that some families claiming Universal Credit may possibly receive none over the Christmas period, by suggesting it is more of a seasonal ‘mood...
View ArticleCheddar Man “clearly fit for work” says ATOS
The Department for Work and Pensions has declined to become involved in the spat between ATOS and a 10,000 year old Somerset man. George Cheddar had previously been thought to be dead, but ATOS claim...
View ArticleMissing £1bn in sickness benefit found in 1970s charity box
The Department for Work and Pensions have blamed a ceramic boy with callipers and a haircut like Jimmy Carr for the fact that tens of thousands of people have been without vital funds. Allegedly, the...
View ArticleMan shatters record after being on hold to DWP call centre for five years
Bill Anderson from Blackpool has shot into the record books after being confirmed as being the longest person on hold when telephoning the DWP’s call centre. He attempted to contact the rather...
View ArticleMan in 6-year coma declared fit for work by DWP
A bitter row has broken out concerning thirty six year-old Will Protheroe from Wimborne, who has been declared fit for work by the DWP despite having been in a vegetative state for six years. Three...
View ArticleChancellor of Exchequer to become zero-hour contract
Sajid Javid has resigned from the cabinet, after being asked to stack shelves at Sports Direct and drive an Uber cab on the weekend. A No. 10 spokeswoman said: ‘Sajid helped champion the gig economy,...
View ArticleTories confirm 20,000 new officers will join “Fun Police”
The Government has asked for 20,000 volunteers to join the new “Fun Police” department, to start immediately. Beat officers will receive one nose-warmer (brown), one balloon popper (sharp), and The...
View ArticleGo To Work > Take Your Chances > Protect The DWP
As the Nation scratches its collective head as to what on earth The Prime Minister was trying to say former Secretary of State for the Department for Works and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith has come to...
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